Today, divorcing couples have a variety of modern divorce options from which to choose. Modern divorce options have been impacted greatly by the introduction of no-fault divorce. No-fault divorce has gained popularity in the United States since the 1970s.
Modern Divorce Options
Every state in the United States now recognizes no-fault divorce. Divorcing couples no longer have to prove wrongdoing by the other spouse. “Irretrievable breakdown of the marriage” is sufficient as a reason to file for a modern divorce, even if the other spouse does not want to get divorced. Generally, no-fault divorces are more private, less costly, and are resolved faster than more traditional and complex fault-based litigated divorces (involving, for example, adultery, desertion, or cruelty).
Unfortunately, while modern divorce options have evolved, many divorce attorneys’ approach to discussing divorce options with their clients has not changed. Typically, when a client retains a divorce lawyer, they are unlikely to be informed about all their modern divorce options. Instead, the divorce lawyer is more likely to discuss the exorbitant retainer of $15,000 – $25,000; promise papers for the contested divorce case will be prepared promptly; and explain their spouse will be served with a summons. From the beginning, litigating divorcing spouses are engaged in an adversarial process that may not fit their particular goals.
Certain divorce law firms, in contrast, will give clients informed consent. Informed consent includes listening carefully to the divorce client’s objectives, giving advice, and then assisting the client with making a choice best tailored for their goals. More than ever, modern divorce options gives divorcing couples a lot to consider beyond traditional divorce litigation.
Traditional divorce litigation
This is the most familiar divorce option and most adversarial. Divorce litigation involves each spouse hiring an attorney. Judges decide the final outcome in divorce litigation. Typically, once a judge decides the matter, after months of delay, neither spouse is happy. Moreover, divorce litigation is usually the most expensive divorce option and takes the longest because the divorce depends on the court schedule. Importantly, parenting after divorce is usually harmed by the bruising process of traditional divorce litigation. However, due to family circumstances, traditional divorce litigation may remain the option of choice for certain clients. This may occur , for example, when a family member or asset needs to be safeguarded.
Divorce mediation
This has become a popular modern divorce option. Unlike divorce ligation, divorce mediation is ideal for those divorcing spouses who want to maintain control over the outcome of their divorce. Divorce mediators are unbiased neutrals who guide and facilitate resolving divorce decisions. Since many divorcing couples have children, divorce mediation is an ideal modern divorce option. Divorcing parents who value being child-focused choose this modern divorce option to make decisions in the best interests of their children. Divorcing parents who have chosen divorce mediation report a high satisfaction rate that lasts years after the divorce. That said, experienced divorce mediators caution divorcing spouses to retain independent legal counsel at some point during the mediation process. Mediators are wise to make this recommendation because they recognize that, since they cannot give legal advice, divorcing spouses will each need an attorney to evaluate the divorce agreement from their respective best interests.
Collaborative divorce
Just like divorce mediation, this option also gives divorcing couples control over the outcome of their family matters. Collaborative divorce teams are made up of the divorcing couple and their respective attorneys sitting at the negotiation table. Financial divorce experts, child specialists, and a divorce coach are traditionally part of the collaborative divorce team as well. Divorce cases involving complex financial considerations and challenging child custody matters are examples of when collaborative divorce is an ideal modern divorce option. Collaborative divorce coaches support the entire collaborative divorce team by assisting with practical issues such as meeting agendas and scheduling but are also available to assist if the process appears to be unraveling.
Collaborative divorce couples report a high degree of satisfaction with the process. Like divorce mediation, since divorcing couples are actively engaged in the negotiations and decisions affecting their family. Both modern divorce options can lead to enduring co-parenting harmony. Understandably, with so many collaborative divorce specialists at the negotiating table, divorcing couples are concerned about the costs of collaborative divorce.
Modern divorce options are not a one-size-fits-all choice. Divorcing couples need to become informed about modern divorce options, prioritize their goals, and then make a choice. After weighing modern divorce options, in the end, divorcing couples may determine that collaborative divorce will enable them to make the best decisions for themselves. They can resolve issues in the immediacy of the moment, not as adversaries, but as future co-parents.
Attorney-to-attorney dispute resolution
This bridges the worlds of modern divorce and traditional divorce. Couples who prefer to have their legal representatives negotiate and resolve disputes on their behalf prefer this option.
Conciliation
This is another modern divorce resolution. Conciliation provides divorcing couples the opportunity to meet with a retired judge, or experienced family law attorney, to resolve their divorce. It is particularly ideal when most of the divorce issues have been resolved, and divorcing couples seek advice on some remaining aspects. Unlike divorce mediation when the mediator is not proactive, divorce conciliators urge divorcing couples to reach resolution by predicting what a court would do if the issue were to be decided by a court. Divorcing couples recognize that they have little to lose, but a lot to gain, by trying this process. Conciliation is a valuable modern divorce option for both low-conflict and high-conflict divorces. If they so choose, divorcing couples can have their divorce attorneys attend the conciliation.
Conclusion
Divorcing couples are too infrequently informed about other modern-day divorce options, which may make the divorce process faster, less expensive, and better for any children involved. Modern divorcing couples have numerous viable options among which to choose to resolve all the issues in their divorce. Ultimately, decisions about the best process will depend on the particular facts and circumstances of each divorce.
Traditional litigation is the most adversarial option, with lawyers representing each spouse. A judge makes the final decisions, often making it expensive and stressful. Mediation and collaborative divorce are more cooperative approaches that encourage spouses to work together to reach agreements. They can reduce conflict and be especially beneficial when children are involved. Attorney-led negotiation and conciliation offer more structure and legal guidance without relying fully on the court system. Overall, the best approach depends on factors such as conflict level, financial complexity, time constraints, and the presence of children.